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You're Nuts if you Don't Spank Your Kids
by: Kevin Taylor

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The truth: “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him” (Prov. 29:15).

The diagnosis: Implicit about young people, is their inherent bent toward folly. Just like cats meow and dogs bark, kids commit imbecilic acts. It’s inherent. Foolishness is the default setting in your kids and mine. Yes, they’re beyond cute. Yes, they are our pride and joy, but they are born with an invisible dunce cap on, that literally can put their lives in peril. 

Toddlers will ingest Windex simply because it’s a pretty blue color.  They will walk, (I mean run) away from you headlong into a parking lot busy with cars, even as you scream for them to do a 180° and listen. They will put their finger in the light socket, because, of course, it fits there. I wish these follies were an exhaustive list, but they’re not.

Solomon talks about these precious, yet preposterous ones; “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child” (Prov. 22:15a). Deeply embedded into them from the most tender age, is unruly mischief; the shunning away of any authority, divine or otherwise, and the constant tendency to act independently of any consequences.

And when such little lads become teenagers, if unchecked, they will only persist in worse grades of folly, but with moral or even fatal consequences. What is a teenager? He is a fool with through-the-roof hormones, a set of car keys, a few dollars, and an insatiable desire to fit in with other fools his age; all of which make him really dangerous. There’s no “dumb” button you need to push on a teenager to make folly roll out of him. It happens naturally.

There’s empirical evidence of this everywhere, everyday. That’s why a 17-year old young man videotaped himself recklessly driving, as he caused two separate accidents, wherein he himself was injured and subsequently hospitalized. If that wasn’t enough, from his hospital bed, he uploaded the video of his tomfoolery to YouTube, and even set it to music. Authorities got ahold of it, and later put him in custody. Ladies and gentlemen, that’s a fool.

It’s why another set of heartbroken parents buried their son after a hazing incident involving exorbitant amounts of alcohol on the campus of Penn State, which caused his death. Let’s be honest, my kids and yours are prime candidates for severe injuries, jail time, or even death, unless someone lovingly intervenes to inject wisdom into their lives.

Being a silent spectator that figures they will “get it” one day is to our own peril. Being the the rose-colored-glasses-wearing parent who's always declaring, “My Jimmy would never______________!”, is to animate their self-destruction. Being the aloof, useless Facebook zombie parent, attached 24/7 to a screen, will surely produce hazardous results in our children.

Throwing them the bone of video games to get them out of our hair, is distraction, not parenting. Handing them an iPhone at age 11, and hoping for the best, only opens the door for another fool their own age to electronically parent them. They must be engaged by a firm, yet loving parent, who establishes God-entrusted authority in their foolish hearts.

The medicine: So you’ve got a five-year old flinging his limbs every which way on the Wal-Mart floor at the checkout line because Mommy didn’t buy him the 3 Musketeers© he wanted. Those tantrums are a need-cry. They definitely don’t need the candy bar they are clamoring for, but need to be lovingly disciplined, restrained from folly and more future rebellion. That’s why I am glad that Solomon in Proverbs 22:15 doesn’t just give the diagnosis, that “foolishness is bound in the heart of a child,” but also the remedy, “but the rod of correction will drive it far from him.”

The only remedy for folly is wisdom; not toys or treats. ( And wisdom is far more than intelligence. College campuses are full of educators imparting intelligence to young people, but yet we are witnesses to story after story in the news about foolish acts of alcohol poisoning, hazing and the such, which bring about fatalities.) So what is wisdom? Wisdom is practical truth mixed with reverence for God. In another verse, Dr. Solomon tells us, “The rod and reproof give wisdom” (Prov. 29:15).

The verse gives two essential wisdom-imparting ingredients; verbal and corporal discipline, “the rod and reproof.” The first, the rod, a loving, swift strike to the backside, reaches those nerve-endings and allows our kids to associate foolishness with the pain it will cause them later in life. This isn’t enraged, out-of-control throwing fists at your kids, or shaking their little bodies. No, that’s abuse, and needs to be reported! Biblical discipline is prayerful, intentional, godly instruction, motivated by love. The earlier in life that you and I can help our children associate rebellion with pain, the greater help we are being to them. I don’t know how many times that I have told my daughters, “Rebellion brings pain, rebellion brings pain.”

Then comes reproof, i.e., verbal discipline which means to clearly explain to your child what they rebelliously did wrong and what your expectations are for them in the future. One of these two afore-mentioned ingredients left out will make for a bad recipe in our children. If all you do is spank your children without explanation, you will produce confusion in them. If you only verbally warn them, or try to somehow coerce them without the necessary corporal discipline, you will produce a manipulator who fears no consequences for his/her future poor choices.

BTW, expect the whole love/hate war to be waged in you. Let me explain. We live in a culture more and more disconnected from God every fleeting moment, and as a result, we have essentially perverted both love and hate. Because of the tidal wave of liberal media, a “hater” is now anyone who disagrees with us, and “love” is equivalent to affirmation and tolerance, regardless of anybody's decisions. To some, any type of corporal discipline is automatically traumatic and abusive.

Your own kid naturally participates in this (and he doesn’t even watch CNN!). With a tear-soaked face, he coerces, “Mommy, if you loved me you would never spank me!”

But let’s let God re-tether our minds! True love restrains foolishness, and hate only encourages others to persist in it. “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Prov. 13:24).

There’s nothing unloving about telling someone to get off the train tracks when you see the train fast approaching. And there’s nothing unloving about prayerfully, patiently, spanking your children on the behind with a rod of correction so that they can quickly be trained to associate foolishness with pain. In doing so, you are painting a picture of the Gospel to your little guy/girl and readying them for (1) their inevitable meeting with God, for which they must be prepared by having a knowledge of their own sinfulness and consequences for the same; and (2) the real world in which foolishness eventually always produces pain. 

You must win this battle (perhaps with yourself). It means everything. If you don’t correct them, a correctional officer in the future may have to.

You are a parent, and so am I. We cannot afford to offer the excuses that encourage their persistence in folly. “Oh, he’s a toddler, slapping his Mommy in the face, but it’s cute.” She’s the second coming of the something out of The Exorcist, but, “Ya know, she needs a nap, after all.”

If you don’t physically discipline your children, you will verbally abuse them ‘cuz they gonna drive you crazy. That’s why you are nuts if you don’t spank your kids. You literally are, right now. 

Feel free to contact us!


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